i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Randomize
