my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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