the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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