i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
bring money and cleavage
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
