I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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