we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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