I'm laying in your front yard are you home
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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