Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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