thus making me awesome and them whores
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.