I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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