Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
