am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
