Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize