So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
