would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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