just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
