It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
