My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
