So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
