maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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