You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize