I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
