bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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