It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
