Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
