Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
