just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize