Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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