it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Blood and glitter go together right?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
