i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
