Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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