i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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