Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i think i just lost a toe
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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