sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
