I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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