A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
