Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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