I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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