im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm at about main and main street
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
