google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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