I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
