Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
