I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
