I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Randomize
