the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize