Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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