i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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