Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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