No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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