toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
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Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So vagazzling was a success
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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