Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
