Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize