i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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