There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
