Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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