Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Can I color on your dick again?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize