You smell like a Billy Joel song
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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