dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
