Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
