when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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