Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
