Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
