i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
