SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
