So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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